Sepent's Skull/ Zanton Edition

Murlocks, Vampires, and Serpents oh my!


As mouse blood drips from the smurf’s hand, the party stood in a room filled with smashed brains, fallen morlocks, wrecked golems, and the door the creatures had been trying to breach stood closed. The loot was divided up and negotiations began with the morlocks hiding behind the door as the party tried to convince them that the threat was gone and they could open the door. Eventually the door opened to reveal the morlock leader Udarra and a wall of blades.


The party spoke with her, and was told that the Pathfinder they were looking for, Eando Kline, had gone to attempt to ally with a town of vampiric creatures against the serpentfolk. Eventually the blades were dismissed, revealing numerous morlock civilians.

Udarra, when told that there was no hope for the intellect devourer-infected morlocks that had survived the battle outside and been taken prisoner, she approved the execution of the body snatchers, which was carried out by Skweesh (eagerly.) Before moving on, the party rested at the morlock stronghold, fawned over as conquering heroes and “ancestors” worshipped by the morlocks. The devourer patrols, away at the time of the battle, never returned.

In preparation to go, the party was given holy water, with which Skweesh made water balloons out of the bladders of the infected morlocks. No one else seemed to want to use the products of his ingenuity. Nyles was unable to come along due to chronic explosive diarrhea. Many morlocks wanted to accompany them, but were rejected due to lack of apparent competence. Their guide, Thekota, was brought along however. The party journeyed through the Darklands, and reached the city of the “vampires”.

Considering and rejecting the idea of a stealthy approach, they marched openly toward the city, calling out at the gate that they sought Eando Kline. Initially, they were angrily rebuffed but with mild difficulty convinced the inhabitants to let them in. Flying in on giant bats, the creatures came out and demanded the party disarm before they entered to see their leader. This was the first good look the party got at the creatures, which were fanged, blue, and translucent monsters.


Dropping their main weapons, (with a few in reserve) the group was marched through the city toward a massive dome. The city was filled with torture devices and dead creatures strung up along the road. The guard escorts took every opportunity to roughly shove and elbow them along the way. One of the creatures struck the merc, who took exception to this treatment, turning and glaring threateningly at it. It shrugged it off and spit at him, nearly leading to violence, but the merc managed to contain his fury.

For now.

Finally reaching the dome and the rulers meeting hall therein, they were told that he would come to see them. They waited for hours, searching the room and picking the lock on the door out of boredom. Finally the ruler arrived, ignoring their presence momentarily until he felt he was ready to speak.


Speaking with them in his strange two/echoing voices—one cultured and the other feral and savage—he said that, while Kline had arrived, he was no longer with them. He had tried to get them to ally against the serpentfolk, and as a test, the ruler, Izon, had sent him out to kill a traitorous lieutenant of his who had joined the serpentfolk.

Since he had not yet returned, the monsters had written him off as dead. The group accepted the same mission in the hopes of finding Kline, and possibly gaining the horrific beings support.

For now.

The merc had one condition however—the guard who had spit on him had to accompany them as their guide. Izon casually agreed, much to the guard’s terror. “Smurferific!” was heard in a muffled tone. They then took back their weapons and set out for the serpentfolk Fortress of a Thousand Fangs.

It was surrounded by waterfalls, a chasm, and a massive lake. Upon arrival, the merc dropped his weapons and dared the guard to a fight. It tried to flee, but was tackled by Skweesh just before the witch caused it to slumber. It was woken up and spit on by the merc. Skweesh tied it up and they brought it along briefly as a captive, the merc releasing him and giving it a final punch to the face when they reached at the edge of the chasm and bringing it was no longer feasible. “Smurf it.” was heard in a disgruntled tone.

Crossing over to the lake with magic, they dealt with the obstacle of the water by the witch flying, the merc transforming into a water elemental, and the knight’s horse having magical horseshoes. Skweesh, of course, came along on his baby seat. Crossing the mostly calm lake was suddenly interrupted when a massive sea serpent burst from the water, slamming into and chomping on Sir Darve.


Battle was joined, the witch hexed the serpent’s aim as the knight and his steed gave it minor wounds and Skweesh pounced/swam/dove into it, slicing a massive wound in its side with his thundering electric axe. The serpent grabbed up the annoying smurf in her jaws as the smurf squirmed to get free. The merc found that a magic cone of cold and ice did nothing but freeze off one of Skweesh’s side burns, so he transformed into his original form and returned to his trusty axe doing respectable damage.

Dursar greased Skweesh, allowing him to escape the monster’s jaws, but then he was grabbed up again by the creature’s yawning maw. Finally, the knight backed off and charged, spearing and killing the old sea serpent—Ydersius’s Thalassic Daughter.

She sank back into the lake, dragging Skweesh with her. After a moment, Skweesh burst from the lake, wounded, but still alive and frothing—taking a moment to look up Seralya’s skirt. Reluctantly, the witch cured his wounds by a laying on of hands. “Smurferific, indeed!” the gnome exclaimed with glee! Darve was also healed.

When they reached the other shore, they chose to rest, using their portable hole as a shelter.


Zanton RonW

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